Thanks, but I'll stick with drinkability.

Ashbrook's odd subject lines continue:

$850 / 2br - Our apartments are so hot-n-ready, Little Ceasers is jealous!

$745 / 1br - Drinkability? Try Livability
$865 / 2br - GTL at Ashbrook!*

$820 / 2br - Like Whoa! What's this manager thinking? 

$845 / 2br - Looking for a boring apartment? DO NOT CLICK!

$760 / 2br - Spacious Airy One bedroom seeks perfect match!

$775 / 1br - Spacious Airy Apartment looking for long term relationship!


*Stands for Gym, Tan, Laundry. Definition from Urban Dictionary:

The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.

Does the "laundry" part of this just mean "wearing clean clothes"? Or do I literally need to be washing my clothes every day? I demand clarification.  

Walker, Texas Ranger wants to be your neighbor.

$825 / 2br - Chuck Norris would live here, so why don't you!

Description of Chuck Norris's dream apartment complex:

A tranquil refuge along a quiet stream in Carrboro, Ashbrook is secluded yet convenient to Chapel Hill, UNC and the Research Triangle Park. Spacious interiors look out on beautiful wooded views. Close to bust stops and shopping, you are in the center of it all! We have a business center with Wifi , a 24 hour pool and fitness center and a nature trail so whatever you like to do, you can find it at Ashbrook! Looking for the best place to call home? We have an APT for that! Call Ashbrook home starting at only $825!

Photo via intrawebnet

This apartment complex totally gets me. I am a twenty-something who knows about the internet. I can launch my new start-up from their business center! They have an "APT" for that! Ha!

Correction: Barf.

Also, Chuck Norris is so 2008, amirite? I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen is the new internet meme or whatever. #losing

Well, this was inevitable.

T core & Shake Weight - $60

Brand new shake weight & T core never been used . I am selling BOTH for $60.00 ! 

Perhaps this person didn't realize they were purchasing exercise equipment.

Gross. Sorry, everyone.

Teddy Ruxpin, you've been replaced.

TJ Bearytales - $30

$30 - T.J. Bearytales and 3 additional books and cartirdges. The bear comes with a built in cartidge and it comes with a book to go along with it. Cartridges and books sell from $24-$68 on Amazon and bear sells for $198.

(Photo by Amazon.com)

This is the beginning of Amazon's Editorial Review of TJ Bearytales:

You know how preschoolers just can’t get enough of story time? How there’s always a request for one more, and just one more after that? If you’re like most parents, you’d love to oblige your curious child as his mind expands and grows...but there are those dishes to be washed and errands to be run. Here’s your chance to let someone else step in for a moment! T.J. Bearytales is your man. Or bear.

What?