I wonder what they teach you in training

Maid to Tease (Greensboro)

Maid to Tease is looking to hire sexy women in NC to cook,
clean or perform light housekeeping work. You can be part
of an exclusive service. All housekeepers will be in a safe
and comfortable work atmosphere. We are looking for
females between 18 and 35, you must have a sexy body type.
Ideal candidate is reliable, outgoing, friendly, and loves
making lots of money. Reliable transportation and flexible
schedule is a must! No experience necessary. Will train
the right people. Huge money making opportunity! Most of the
time, the Maid to Tease staff earn over $75 per hour with salary
and tips.

Please send a recent photo(s) of yourself. The photo should
include your face & body shot that is clear and sexy in nature.
These photos will only be used for hiring purposes only
and will not be sold or used in any inappropriate manner as we
are a professional business. Please email your photo(s).

Welcome to creeptown

Hiring white female for paid Foot project (Greensboro)

We are seeking a few attractive white females ages 18 through 28 for a paid female empowerment/foot project. experience is not required or preferred. The girl next door look is ok. Your shoe size should be between 6 and 11. You should have somewhat attractive feet and be physically fit. no nudity is required. This project is for a private client only. Please call or email for full details. 704.724.5562 days are best.

I'm sure that I cannot even fathom the level of empowerment achieved by a Foot project participant.

Thanks, but I'll stick with drinkability.

Ashbrook's odd subject lines continue:

$850 / 2br - Our apartments are so hot-n-ready, Little Ceasers is jealous!

$745 / 1br - Drinkability? Try Livability
$865 / 2br - GTL at Ashbrook!*

$820 / 2br - Like Whoa! What's this manager thinking? 

$845 / 2br - Looking for a boring apartment? DO NOT CLICK!

$760 / 2br - Spacious Airy One bedroom seeks perfect match!

$775 / 1br - Spacious Airy Apartment looking for long term relationship!


*Stands for Gym, Tan, Laundry. Definition from Urban Dictionary:

The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.

Does the "laundry" part of this just mean "wearing clean clothes"? Or do I literally need to be washing my clothes every day? I demand clarification.  

Walker, Texas Ranger wants to be your neighbor.

$825 / 2br - Chuck Norris would live here, so why don't you!

Description of Chuck Norris's dream apartment complex:

A tranquil refuge along a quiet stream in Carrboro, Ashbrook is secluded yet convenient to Chapel Hill, UNC and the Research Triangle Park. Spacious interiors look out on beautiful wooded views. Close to bust stops and shopping, you are in the center of it all! We have a business center with Wifi , a 24 hour pool and fitness center and a nature trail so whatever you like to do, you can find it at Ashbrook! Looking for the best place to call home? We have an APT for that! Call Ashbrook home starting at only $825!

Photo via intrawebnet

This apartment complex totally gets me. I am a twenty-something who knows about the internet. I can launch my new start-up from their business center! They have an "APT" for that! Ha!

Correction: Barf.

Also, Chuck Norris is so 2008, amirite? I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen is the new internet meme or whatever. #losing

Well, this was inevitable.

T core & Shake Weight - $60

Brand new shake weight & T core never been used . I am selling BOTH for $60.00 ! 

Perhaps this person didn't realize they were purchasing exercise equipment.

Gross. Sorry, everyone.

Teddy Ruxpin, you've been replaced.

TJ Bearytales - $30

$30 - T.J. Bearytales and 3 additional books and cartirdges. The bear comes with a built in cartidge and it comes with a book to go along with it. Cartridges and books sell from $24-$68 on Amazon and bear sells for $198.

(Photo by Amazon.com)

This is the beginning of Amazon's Editorial Review of TJ Bearytales:

You know how preschoolers just can’t get enough of story time? How there’s always a request for one more, and just one more after that? If you’re like most parents, you’d love to oblige your curious child as his mind expands and grows...but there are those dishes to be washed and errands to be run. Here’s your chance to let someone else step in for a moment! T.J. Bearytales is your man. Or bear.

What?

Oh cool

ZOO at 10 today - m4w

I am a white male going to the zoo today from around 10 until 1. seeing if anyone would like to meet there and walk around the zoo. Should be a pretty day. I have an extra ticket. So if your interested let me know and come meet me there.

Maybe they just need to be reminded that they are Amish.

Amish People Shopping?

Pardon my ignorance, but I thought Amish people make their own clothing?....I work in a retail shopping complex and recently I've noticed an increase in Amish customers. I have yet to see an Amish woman buy anything. Do they just browse around looking for fashion ideas???

This is from Fargo.

Skim Milk - m4w

The girl who stood in line in front of me in lane 2 with the gallon of skim milk. You are so beautiful. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

Quit it OUT, Texas!

Why are you fuckers from TEXAS CALLING ME? (Every DAMN DAY! STOP IT!)


All it says on the caller ID is "TEXAS". Why the FUCK is TEXAS CALLING ME? I have all my teeth, I am not a steer, I am not a queer, and I speak English. Leave me ALONE, Texas!

So many weight rooms.

Weight Room Girl In Librarian Glasses - m4w - 40 (Lifetime 101/Minnetonka - Wayzata)


You wear black librarian glasses, hyper-extend your leg workout on the Smith machine...and look angrier than anyone I have ever seen in a weight room...and I have been in a lot of weight rooms.

I'm very much not "looking" for anything, but life is short. People always used to tell me that I was the same way, and for some reason I hate to see someone else going through life (or at least her workouts) looking so terribly pissed off. You can relax just a little and still kick ass.

Just...Yikes.

There's nothing to say about this.

Discreet Letter Writer (High Point)

I looking for a High School or College female to write discreet letters. Nice handwriting is a must. You will be paid for this service. Please contact me through this add.

This is a legitimate job. Payment will be based on the length of the letter.

Kind of reads like the start of a riddle.

Says Delaney: "Simplicity makes this one a winner."

I'm inclined to agree:

70's porn party - m4w

we locked eyes several times...

who are we?

A Family Affair

Banditos 80s nite with mom - m4w - 31

Saw you ur mom a freind and maybe her mom at banditos for eighties nite.We locked eyes and u smiled. I was too chickenshit to go say hello bc I thought you were flawlessly gorgeous. And you are. It was last fri nite the 14th i beleive. You blonde, 24-29 and witrh mom..me with two other guys eating right in front of u.

If I ever attend an 80's night, I'm definitely bringing my mom.

So can I finally wear that cowboy hat I bought at KISS FM's Lake Jam '97?

B103-7 Bud Bash at the Hat Factory

I have free tickets the B103-7 Bud Bash at the Hat Factory. I got them free today from the station- they came to my work and dropped them off with a bunch of swag! I have bowling tonight and I'm not feeling well, so don't want to go. So if you want to get your groove on with a buddy, best friend, girlfriend, whatever... email me to find out where to pick them up. I will be at the bowling alley, so you will have to come there to get them. I'll probably be there until 9.30pm or so. First one to respond, will get the tickets and I will let you know which bowling alley.

Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling.

Toddlers & Tiaras: The Inevitable Conclusion

3 boxes of TROPHIES!!!!

Mostly pageant trophies. If I only had the money back for what these all cost me. LOL
Daughter is now in college so it is time to let them go.
Would be great for someone to refurbish.
I am moving and have to get rid of them ASAP. Call or text me if you want them. Thanks Tonya

How do you refurbish a trophy?