10%? Don't even bother.

Trade what for a 20% off coupon?

Trade for your Lowe's or Home Depot 20% off coupon - $1

Looking to trade for a Lowes or Home depot 20% off coupon. Don't bother with offering 10% off.

What a let-down.

I AM BEAUTIFULL , SEEKING SOME FUN - w4m - 27

The actual post was flagged, and is soon to be taken down. I'm just as disappointed as you are. It really was a beautiful beginning.

Ow.

Beautiful student with septum ring and curly, brown hair - w4m - 33

Somehow, I keep missing you. Care to connect with me? I'm the one with the annoying Grim Russell Terrier and the matching septum ring. I know I'm a bit older than you are, but I'm pretty sure that I can keep up. I think that we would do well together - want to sit down for a talk and see if we're thinking along the same lines? Looking forward to it and hope to hear from you.

For those of you who desire a visual to accompany the above post:


I was once chased by a very angry bull with a septum ring (not pictured), so I generally associate such piercings with hooves, horns, and blind terror.

I like the last one best.

Overnight Walmart Guy - 19

Really cute young guy that works over night at the wal-mart in Holly Springs...You have a Star Wars belt! YOU ARE HOT!!! Message me!!!

I wonder what kind of Star Wars belt this guy has. Is it this? Does it have a stylish belt buckle? A combination thereof? Or is it more like this?

This is cute.

Such a civilized post. She deserves an award.

I hope they got together.

AC Moore In Durham - Cute Tall Lady - w4w - 30

We kept running into each other in the aisles, I'm not really sure of your orientation, But I'm sure that you will remember me we spoke. You're very attractive and we seemed to have some artistic interests in common. Please respond if interested in making at least a friend. Thank you, have a wonderful day.

"craiglistian", indeed.

Terminology is not the only curious thing about this post.

waitresses at chili's - m4w

WOW

on sunday me and a classmate had an early lunch at this Chili's of on glenwood near a taco bell, and first we where greeted by this tiny little woman who was cute as hell, Our waitress had a nice big ass, but there was one (if you read this you know who you are)with dark hair pulled up, slightly slanted eyes, and the most profound round bottom I have every seen on a white girl. I really don't think you where 100% white either. I had on a blue oxford, jeans, sperrys, close cut with outlined beard. when you where waiting to ring up an order i could stop staring at you(not your ass) hoping to make eye contact but it seemed like you tried your best not to look my way. besides that I would like to know if your brain is as big as your bottom.

hope you see this, you looked like a craiglistian. lol

From Josh, with commentary.

need an algebra tutor - 33

I am in need of an algebra tutor, Do any ladies have time to help me out Any ladies care to chat?

Josh says: I mean, kill two birds with one stone.


looking for my other half!! - 23

hi ladies, well I am a good man who values the woman. I am educated, a good provider, open minded and reasonable in my views. I am easy going and have a good sense of humor,i'm 23

Josh says: He is reasonable in his views.


Critic's Choice Award

FANCY DINNER AND A WRESTLE? - 25

MUST BE WILLING TO PLAY GAMES

DO YOU LIKE TO KISS? DO YOU LIKE TO TEND TO A LAWN?

I ENJOY DRINKING COKE FROM A GLASS BOTTLE AND LISTENING TO CHRIS ISAAK (THOSE GUITAR NOTES ARE SO GOOD THE WAY HE PLAYS THEM!)

I WEAR GLASSES AND WOULD PREFER NOT TO BE LAUGHED AT

I AM NOT A LARGE MAN, BUT ANYONE WHO STEPS TO ME WILL ENTER INTO A WORLD OF PAIN

I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU, IT IS OK IF YOU ARE SOMEWHAT BUSTED, BUT LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY

Josh says: What is there to say?

Smoking kills, reduces chances of having bones jumped

Just Tires on Chatham in Cary - w4m

I walked out the side door to my car and you walked in the front door at about the same time. I know this because I noticed you as I got in my car - with it's shiny new tires - and stopped and stared. I was immediately attracted to you with your couple days scruff from not shaving, baseball cap, and sweatshirt. Your look was so "ordinary guy running errands on a Saturday" but I have never experienced such a primal attraction as I did today.

You looked at the line and went back outside. Because it was such a pretty day you took off your sweatshirt and your t-shirt came up with it as you pulled it over your head. I can still picture your chest hair pattern, smooth stomach, and the way your muscles flexed with your arms over your head. I wanted to touch you, to run my fingers through your chest hair and my lips and tongue over your neck, chest, and stomach. I sat there unsure of what to do because I have always been the pursued not the pursuer. I waited another couple secs as you tied your sweatshirt around your waist and bummed a light off the elderly gentleman also waiting for tires. I took that as a sign it might not be meant to be - I'm not into smokers. But, maybe it was more because I lacked the courage to pursue.

Verb tenses matter.

I am going to go out on a limb and say that the person responsible for this ad is not a native English speaker. I consider the "meet-not-met" problem and the overuse of exclamation points to be dead giveaways!

We Meet Today at the coffee shop - m4w

We meet today! You were at the local coffee shop in your neighborhood with your 2 daughters. Tell me what we talked about and what I was wearing. I would like to see you again!

This is barely English.

For real, this is basically incomprehensible:

cute wht guy curly hair who drove the bmw - m4m - 23

wow u r hot , we shared look at each other while u where pumpin your gas an when u went in the store an then when u walk out the store, umm i think u are hot an would like to talk more send me a message

On the opposite end of the spectrum, this, too, is ridiculous:

today - m4w

Your charming smile spoke historical prerogatives. I eviscerated my protagonist.
Your warmth was felt long before we spoke.

This forum is a craven coward's cave.
A Penitentiary.

UNTITLED.

This man manages to convey loneliness, lust, guilt, self-loathing, and desperate hope in a little over 100 words.

UNC and Franklin Street - m4w

I am so hesitant to even post this… but I have been thinking about it for days. I’ve seen you a few times near UNC and I am thinking you are probably a student there. Our eyes caught each other’s gaze once, and I think we both held the look a little longer than normal. I’m not sure why you were looking back, but I was mesmerized. Here’s the catch, and you know it, you are young enough to be my daughter, and frankly, that is scary and exciting.

Well, if you think you are the one I’m talking about, write back. Yes, I was the executive looking guy… not a prof.

Nicholas Sparks is an idiot. So are you.

From
Kind gentleman seeking the same in a lady for a LTR - 33

Have you ever really thought the perfect person was out there? You know, the kind of romance that Sparks writes about in the Notebook? I would like to be able to find that.

More posts addressed to pets, please.

Ahem. This is adorable:

Karma the dog - m4w - 27

Hi, Karma.

I met your human friend few months ago at Caribou. She was really pretty. I thought that I would talk to her when I saw her next time, but this never happened. Please relay the message to your friend that I'd like to sit for a cup of coffee or tea. I was the guy that moved from Caribou to Caribou whom your friend accused of being a workaholic.

Thanks,
Dogless

Hey that is kind of a weird name for a blog.

Yes. Yes it is.

The very best craigslist posting I am yet to find--and I have looked at a lot--in terms of rhetoric and heart-stringing was posted under "Missed Connections" on January 29, 2008, at 10:48 am:

becky you can weld - m4w - 29

You can weld, you can work on cars, you were a csr. You are beautiful.

If you don't understand the beauty of this, I cannot explain it to you. You worn born wrong.

So, to the man who posted that: I am sorry I stole it for the title of my blog. It was only because it is beautiful.

I hope you found her.