Thanks, but I'll stick with drinkability.

Ashbrook's odd subject lines continue:

$850 / 2br - Our apartments are so hot-n-ready, Little Ceasers is jealous!

$745 / 1br - Drinkability? Try Livability
$865 / 2br - GTL at Ashbrook!*

$820 / 2br - Like Whoa! What's this manager thinking? 

$845 / 2br - Looking for a boring apartment? DO NOT CLICK!

$760 / 2br - Spacious Airy One bedroom seeks perfect match!

$775 / 1br - Spacious Airy Apartment looking for long term relationship!


*Stands for Gym, Tan, Laundry. Definition from Urban Dictionary:

The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.

Does the "laundry" part of this just mean "wearing clean clothes"? Or do I literally need to be washing my clothes every day? I demand clarification.  

Walker, Texas Ranger wants to be your neighbor.

$825 / 2br - Chuck Norris would live here, so why don't you!

Description of Chuck Norris's dream apartment complex:

A tranquil refuge along a quiet stream in Carrboro, Ashbrook is secluded yet convenient to Chapel Hill, UNC and the Research Triangle Park. Spacious interiors look out on beautiful wooded views. Close to bust stops and shopping, you are in the center of it all! We have a business center with Wifi , a 24 hour pool and fitness center and a nature trail so whatever you like to do, you can find it at Ashbrook! Looking for the best place to call home? We have an APT for that! Call Ashbrook home starting at only $825!

Photo via intrawebnet

This apartment complex totally gets me. I am a twenty-something who knows about the internet. I can launch my new start-up from their business center! They have an "APT" for that! Ha!

Correction: Barf.

Also, Chuck Norris is so 2008, amirite? I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen is the new internet meme or whatever. #losing

I don't know what this means.

$282 / 2br - Stage Room available in Carrboro mid March

A stage room is a bedroom used most often by a college girl for 1)the storage of her belongings and 2)the appearance of living with another female, while in fact, she lives with her boyfriend. The purpose of the stage room is mainly to fool her conservative parents.

In other words, this would be a room that you appear to be living in, but not. Your stuff is there but you don't spend most nights there. It's super cheap with a great location right across from the farmers market in Carrboro.
If this sounds good to you, please write back. The apartment is available mid March.